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The Everything Thing / Monsieur Shambolique Meets Master Misery

by Jim McAteer

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1.
I sure do hope that I.... Do not die, oh me oh my! It would be sad to see.... Life what without me....obviously! Think of all those little things That I meant to do. Like they say, life gets in the way But that’s up to you! Oh, they say that it is true, You regret what you don’t do, For no one ever knew, You for things that you did not do! Don’t you know opportunity Won’t always stop for you and me, So don’t wait just for fate to land on your plate....to make your life great. I want to do The Everything Thing, There’s just so many things to do! I want to walk and talk and dance and sing But I know that I will suffer too. Oh yes I guess time does pass fast And I know that nothing lasts, But this time that we have, It’s the only thing that is ours! So while here in the here and now Why not dance before you take a bow? Do it now before you’re down Pushing up the flowers! I want to do The Everything Thing, There’s just so many things to do! I want to walk and talk and dance and sing But I know that I will suffer too. I sure do hope that I.... Do not die, oh me oh my! It would be sad to see.... Life what without me....obviously! Think of all those little things That I meant to do, Like they say, life gets in the way But that’s up to you!
2.
Well, Monsieur Shambolique wears shoes that always squeak, Each sole has many holes and when it rains they leak, His trouser legs are bound with pegs and smell like rotten eggs, He's always short of money.... But still he never begs! Now Master Misery hates all things that are free, He shot down every singing bird and chopped down every tree, He makes sure all the city walls are locked up by nightfall, No citizen can leave the town.... No visitor can call! Well Monsieur Shambolique has a mind that is antique, It's made of finest quality but positively creaks, He may forget your first name yet on one thing you could bet, He'd be the most original man.... You had ever met! Now Master Misery likes to keep things orderly, He has a team of civil servants write down each decree, These bureaucrats wear matching hats and matching black cravats, Their perfect pin-striped cotton suits.... Are keenly ironed flat! Chorus - And the heavens held their breath, And crossed their fingers gingerly, For they knew just what a cataclysmic day, This was going to be! Just like matter meeting anti-matter, Oh, what a sight to see, The day that Monsieur Shambolique Met Master Misery! Well Monsieur Shambolique came into town last week, Everybody stared in disbelief at this new freak, He walked along, just sang a song and smiled back at the throng, They'd never seen a smile before.... They thought it must be wrong! Now Master Misery wondered what that noise could be, He looked down from his castle wall - a strange sight he did see, Down in the square, a large crowd there, had gathered round to stare, They watched in wide-eyed wonderment.... This strange man with long hair! Well Monsieur Shambolique reached his artistic peak, Selling painted portraits from his wheelbarrow boutique, "Roll Up" he cried "....and step inside! You have nothing to hide!", "I'll paint the naked truth of you"... "And I have never lied!" Now Master Misery said "Why don't you paint me?", "Let's see how well you paint the truth without your liberty!" Then poor Monsieur was forced by four policemen to the floor, They dragged him off to jail.... And locked the cold steel door! Chorus - And the heavens held their breath, And crossed their fingers gingerly, For they knew just what a cataclysmic day, This was going to be! Just like matter meeting anti-matter, Oh, what a sight to see! The day that Monsieur Shambolique Met Master Misery! “Well Monsieur Shambolique you're just too damned unique, I hate the way you think... can't stand the way you speak, You stand out proud in any crowd and that's just not allowed! It's time you learned to stand in line, And keep you forehead bowed!” “Oh Master Misery what do you want from me? All I'm trying to do is live a life that's free! Now you may bind my hands behind my back but you will find, The one thing that you cannot cage, Is my unruly mind!” “Well Monsieur Shambolique, this freedom that you seek, It's just a foolish fantasy....I know whereof I speak, I must confess, I once had stress, my mind was in a mess! I found that I could not escape.... The cage of consciousness!” “Oh Master Misery, I wish that you could see, You already hold the key to set you free! Your mind has waged a war of rage upon this self-made cage. When in fact your mind is just.... A beautiful blank page!” Chorus - And the heavens held their breath, And crossed their fingers gingerly, For they knew just what a cataclysmic day, This was going to be! Just like matter meeting anti-matter, Oh, what a sight to see, The day that Monsieur Shambolique Met Master Misery! Well Monsiuer Shambolique gave a final paintbrush tweak Then Master Misery came in to take a peek The prison wall was covered all with a scene he could recall And Misery stood staring at a figure standing tall Now Master Misery was like an old dead tree His backbone trunk had shrunk and slanted crookedly But now he saw himself before his soul became so poor A portrait of young Master, Monsieur for sure did draw Well Monsieur Shambolique, my weary bones do creak I cannot stand tall, my back it is too weak Now I can see a younger me, standing foolishly Who cares that I was once young. Power means more to me. Oh Master Misery, please look more carefully, Look at your young face and tell me what you see? He stared a while and felt on trial, this task began to rile But then finally, he saw he wore a smile Chorus - And the heavens held their breath, And crossed their fingers gingerly, For they knew just what a cataclysmic day, This was going to be! Just like matter meeting anti-matter, Oh, what a sight to see, The day that Monsieur Shambolique Met Master Misery! Oh Monsieur Shambolique I see that you did seek To paint a moment from my past To show me just how bleak My life has been and now I’ve seen what power really means For in the painted scene beside him stood a painted queen. Now Master Misery looked at his dear lady It overwhelmed him now to see her face so vividly It had been years and now the tears did wash away his fear! And like a leaf in summer, A smile did reappear. Oh Monsieur Shambolique I’m so glad we did speak And as he said this, one last tear trickled down his cheek Now Misery at last could see how he once used to be He had forgotten how it felt to be happy. Well Monsieur Shambolique and Master Misery, Opened up the door and strolled out casually, They calmly walked and laughed and talked, as seagulls loudly squawked! They sat down at a cafe.... And champagne was uncorked! And the heavens all breathed out And they did start to stomp and shout! For they knew just what a splendid day this was, Without a doubt! Matters of matter do not matter much, It's all just energy. What matters most is if that energy is....set free!

about

Double A-side single featuring 'The Everything Thing' from Jim's debut album 'Here Be Dragons', plus a new recording: the epic 'Monsieur Shambolique Meets Master Misery'.

'The Everything Thing' seems newly fitting as we sense light at the end of the tunnel and try to imagine all the things we want to do. But how are we going to be able to do it all? How will we cope with “the everything thing”? In his uniquely wry way, Jim ponders how to make the best of the time that we have on Earth. And with his topnotch band in tow, it turns into an existentialist Cosmic Country party, like Bill Callahan fronting Sweetheart of the Rodeo-era Byrds.

Accompanying 'The Everything Thing' is a home-recorded new song, 'Monsieur Shambolique Meets Master Misery'. When we say new song we mean a song that Jim has been writing for years and finally finished under lockdown. It may be his masterpiece. It's over ten minutes of intricately rhymed storytelling, an allegory of the human spirit's determination to create and be free. As soon as he can Jim will be making a beeline to the studio to record it with full band.

credits

released April 9, 2021

Released jointly by Fox Star Records and Sonic Bull.

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Jim McAteer Glasgow, UK

Jim McAteer is a singer-songwriter from Glasgow.

Jim's songs have long been cherished on the open-mic scene in Glasgow and beyond. Now with a top band of friends backing him, Jim is releasing an album, on 29th of February, which captures his unique, warm-hearted vision. ... more

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